


To New Beginnings, To Home

by bladeofthestars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Oneshot, found it in my google docs and still loved it, late to the party, post "I'm poison Cas", thought I'd share, written after Dean parted ways with Sam and Cas in Season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 07:50:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4556598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladeofthestars/pseuds/bladeofthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas can't contact Dean via phone because Sam will know and Dean wouldn't pick up anyway. So he does the next best thing.<br/>(As per the tags, written after Dean decides to leave Sam and Cas because he's "poison")</p>
            </blockquote>





	To New Beginnings, To Home

Dean slowly comes to. The flickering light of flames dances across his eyelids. He winces as someone nearby begins screaming. His eyes shoot open as he realizes he is bound.

“Hello?”

The only response is more screaming off in the distance. He strains against the chains binding him, before noticing that they extend outwards into infinity. He begins to scream himself as he realizes he is suspended in the middle of nothing. Hellfire dances closer, on him, around him, _in him._ There is nothing, no one to help him-

_“Dean.”_

A light bursts into existence above him, washes over him. It is warm and fills him with a fierce joy and sense of comradery. This light was salvation and love, but also the sort of righteous fury he’d want on his side in a fight. It was sound and ice, rain on a summer night, it was-

“Dean, you’re dreaming. Come with me, away from here. We need to talk.”

The light fades slightly, revealing the shape of a man. A man he’d gladly call best friend, family even.

“Cas!”

He reaches up to the man, no longer bound. The angel grabs his hand. Dean sees the shadow of wings within the righteous light as they flex and close around the two. Suddenly they’re on a familiar pier. Two fishing poles sit across two chairs, a cooler in between them. Cas sits in one of them, overly large trench coat flowing everywhere. Dean follows suit after a moment of consideration.

“I haven’t dreamt of Hell for a couple of years. Not like that.”

Castiel shifts, getting a beer and cracking it open before casting out his line.

“I know.”

Cas doesn’t look over at him, but puts a hand on his knee gently. Dean suddenly wishes the angel’s arms were wrapped around him. The warmth of Cas’s grace washing over him was gone now, leaving him aching in its absence.

Dean looks down at the hand on his knee before coming to a decision. He puts his hand over it, squeezing gently. Warmth floods through him once more. It's not as strong as before, but it's still quite pleasant.

“What did you need to talk about?”

The unspoken question of _And why did it have to be in my dreams? I thought we were past that_ lingers between them.

“I miss you.”

Dean jerks slightly, taken aback with Cas’s words.

“I know Sam misses you too, though he refuses to say so, or to even admit that he might need you.”

Dean sits quietly, not sure how to react to this information. The lake ripples quietly, now largely unnoticed by both of them. Finally, Cas turns to face him.

“He won’t let me call you. Not even to talk. He’d be mad to know I’m here now. But I _can’t._ I just can’t, Dean.”

Dean stares into his friend’s eyes, throat closing painfully around the words he knows he should say.

“I know Cas. It’s not fair to you.”

“I’ve lost so much _family,_ Dean. I can’t keep doing this. As a human, I learned what I treasure most, and you and Sam are at the top of that list. Just come _back.”_

Cas’s voice cracks. He trails off to look down at their hands, which are now entwined.

“Just make it work. I… I need you.”

Dean rubs his thumb over Cas’s hand soothingly.

“I know. I miss you too. But I’m not _good_ for-”

“Dean Winchester, if you continue that thought I’ll be sorely tempted to smite you where you sit.”

The angel looks up at Dean. Blue eyes meet green ones in a piercing gaze. He stands and takes both of Dean’s hands in his roughly.

 _“You_ have allowed me to be myself, to make my own _free_ decisions. _You_ showed me that I could be an individual, and not just some hammer. _You_ showed me that I was so much more than the orders I was given.”

He shakes Dean’s hands.

“This.” Shake. _“This_ is what I rebelled for. This is what I _chose for myself,_ a _novel_ idea among all of the angels of Heaven.”

He puts Dean’s hands down, choosing instead to put one hand on his shoulder and the other under his chin. His eyes search Dean’s face. Dean isn’t sure if he finds what he was looking for, but Cas continues anyway.

“I chose you. You _and_ Sam. And I _know_ you chose me, even when I shouldn’t have been trusted. If you finally realize what a screw-up, poor excuse for an angel I am and decide to leave because I’m not good for you or your brother, then so be it. I’ll survive. I did before, when you sent me away.”

Dean tries to flinch away, despite the lack of accusation in Cas’s voice, but the angel refuses to let go of him, forcing Dean to maintain eye contact.

“But don’t you think for a _second_ that you can tell me what’s good for me, or choose for me. I spent eons living solely on the decisions of others, Dean. I’m _done_ living like that. _I choose you._ Now, you can either acknowledge that and come back so we can fix this, or you can admit to what the real problem is here and keep running. I won’t hold either decision against you, but Dean, I need a decision.”

Dean gulps. Cas’s eyes are glistening with emotion. He’s pretty sure his are too. He puts his hand over the one Cas has holding his chin and squeezes. Cas’s breath comes faster and he gets a look of consternation on his face. His fingers splay over Dean’s cheek. Dean’s breathing picks up in response. The moment hangs between them for what seems like an eternity as Cas slowly leans closer, carefully watching Dean’s face for any signs of reticence.

Their lips meet and brush against each other softly. All Dean can see is blue until he remembers to close his eyes. Cas tilts his head and presses against Dean harder, lips moving roughly. Dean’s hand threads through the hair at the nape of Cas’s neck without him really meaning for it to.

Suddenly, they’re too close, breath coming harsh, teeth nipping at each other’s lips. Cas breaks them apart, giving Dean a startled glance before disappearing. Dean wakes up with a start.

He sits up and groans, rubbing his eyes tiredly. It's already morning and he needs to get up and start trying to find Gadreel again. Or…

Or.

He gets up and gets ready. After packing the last thing into his car, he gets in and just sits behind the wheel for a few minutes. Finally, he reluctantly starts Baby up and heads off to the highway, towards the bunker. _Towards home._


End file.
